Cross addiction is currently becoming the bane of my existence. Cross addiction is defined by these two attributes: 1. Being addicted to more than once substance at the same time, or 2. While in recovery, becoming addicted to another substance or behavioral addiction.
Here are some examples:
- A person addicted to heroin becomes cross addicted to cocaine. This is due to the cycle of a downer (depressant) with an upper (amphetamine). I like the high heroine gives me, but I need to be functional so I take cocaine to make it through the day.
- I am no longer using alcohol and started a program of recovery. Even though I am in recovery, I start “13th stepping*.” I start having sexual relations as much as I can and it starts to get out of control. I am now cross addicted with a behavioral addiction, sex.
* 13 Stepping: A 13th step is not part of the 12 step program. “13th stepping” is a colloquial term for a person in recovery starting to prey on newcomers in the meetings.
Cross addiction, like any other addiction I have addressed in here, is just the heart’s desire to continue to seek something other than the creator. John Calvin stated, “the human mind is, so to speak, a perpetual forge of idols.” In other words, our hearts are constantly creating idols. The reason for this is due the fact our hearts are always trying to have proof God exist. Calvin continues, “daily experience shows, that the flesh is always restless until it has obtained some figment like itself, with which it may vainly solace itself as a representation of God. In consequence of this blind passion men have, almost in all ages since the world began, set up signs on which they imagined that God was visibly depicted to their eyes.” Calvin made this statement about the Israelites, “they knew, indeed, that there was a God whose mighty power they had experienced in so many miracles, but they had no confidence of his being near to them, if they did not with their eyes behold a corporeal symbol of his presence, as an attestation to his actual government. They desired, therefore, to be assured by the image which went before them, that they were journeying under Divine guidance.” In other words, our hearts are always looking for a visible God in our lives. Something we can see. Something that is tangible.
I have been asked over and over again by my sponsor, “If it feels like God has moved, who has moved?” The answer is simple. I have moved. I have either stopped praying like I should, stopped practicing spiritual principles, stopped step work, stopped reaching out, stopped reading the Bible, or stopped attending meetings. All in all, I have stopped the work I have needed to stay connected with my higher power. As previously written, I can find my higher power when I connect with people because he works through people, through spiritual work, but more importantly, he speaks through the Word of God. When this happens, I find myself seeking the created more than the creator.
In my own life and experience, I see cross addiction mainly in two areas: eating and playing games. When I say playing games, I am not talking only about electronic games, but any game. My most recent experience at work has shown me, if I engage in Connect Four, Ping Pong, Checkers, I can be completely distracted as the dopamine in my brain kicks off. If I win, I keep playing because I like the way it makes me feel. Like most gamblers, if I lose, I do not interpret it as a loss, but as “I almost won.” The brain’s interpretation of “I almost won” is the reason by gamblers become addicted. I keep playing not matter the outcome. It affects my work and it affects the relationship I have with my coworker as I continue to play and not do the tasks required of me. Eating hits the same dopamine receptors in the brain as chemical dependencies do. Sugars and highly processed foods can flood the brain with dopamine like cocaine and other chemical addictions do. If I am spiritually off, I can eat so much food, I feel sick. I will keep eating even though I know I am full and it goes completely against my diet. These are reasons why Gamblers Anonymous and Overeaters Anonymous exist.
The only way to prevent this is to follow the example provided in Colossians 3:5, “Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry.” We need to understand “out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false witness, slander (Matthew 15:19).” If we can keep this in our fore thoughts, then we have a chance at overcoming all addiction/idolatry.
My sponsor currently has me working on this to help me break the insanity of the idol factory:
- Step up my meetings. Find a way to stay connected spiritually.
- Continue to work the steps and spiritual principles.
- Most importantly, pray. My prayer life should not be about me asking God for things. My prayer life should be asking God to assist me in conforming my will to His. It is part of Step 3, “making a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood God.” I should be asking how I can serve him and how I can serve those I work with.
Once I turn my will and life over to God, I know he has my back. I need to have the faith in that and stop allowing my heart to seek something different. God has our backs. When we look at the over arching theme of the Bible, we can see that. He had the Israelite’s back no matter how many times they turned from. He kept his covenants with them. Even when outsiders (other nations/gentiles) chose to follow God, as long as they followed the Israelite laws and circumcision, they were brought under God’s covenant. Once it came to the New Testament, God fulfilled the law and the covenants with Christ. Now, the covenant extended past the Israelites, to all peoples and all nations who believed in Christ and accepted him as lord and savior.
In other words, we no longer have to follow the flesh. “Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires,” and since “I have been crucified with Christ, it is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me; and the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God who loved me and gave himself for me (Galatians 5:24, 2:20).”
The Messenger's Alley 